kayfromhome

I had a plan. 

I was going to graduate from college at 22.  Be married by 25.  Start having kids at 28.  And be a successful, functioning, debt-less adult by 30. 

Let’s all applaud my ignorance together. 

I am less than a year from thirty and so far off course from where I intended.  In fact, if it weren’t so defeating it would probably make me laugh out loud.  Nearly 3 years ago I wrote a blog post called 3 Years ’til 30.  Nearly 3 years later, I have accomplished nothing that I set out to.  I’ve not written a book.  I’ve yet to visit Belize.  And Dave Ramsey & I still have some serious things to tackle together. 

Instead of accomplishing my goals, I’ve changed my career (again), moved into a new apartment (again!), gotten married (thankfully for the first time!!) and questioned many of my life choices.

My identity, though formed, feels vague.  I was always “The Writer,” or “The Reader,” or “The One With Potential.”  I thought for sure that by 30 I would be Someone; off Somewhere doing Something big and exciting and important. 

Instead, I’m living a life of quiet obscurity in a town where no one knows who I was before my husband.  Which isn’t a bad thing.  But it’s not quite what I had imagined for myself. 

Before you get the wrong idea, let me say that I don’t mean to paint the picture of a bleak and unfulfilled life.  By no means is my situation even slightly unfavorable.  I am young and healthy.  I live in a beautiful apartment with the man of my dreams.  My husband dotes on me.  My friendships are thriving.  I want for nothing, truly.  I am blessed and I am thankful. 

I’m just saying I had a plan.  But sometimes plans change and I am learning to deal with that.  

Maybe it’s my impending 30’s talking, but it feels as if the days are slipping by quickly.  I don’t feel like the young girl I once was.  I am realizing that life is found in the moments between when you are young and when you are not.  

I don’t want to waste those moments. 

A friend of mine has decided for herself that 2019 will be her year to “unplug.”  As much as I like to be abreast of things, I’ll admit that a social media cleanse sounds appealing.  I’d like to focus more on writing.  And reading.  And fulfilling potential.  But mostly writing. 

I’ve got 5 months and 3 days until the big 3-0.  Who knows?  Maybe that’s enough time to write a book.