I had a plan.
I was going to graduate from college at 22. Be married by 25. Start having kids at 28. And be a successful, functioning, debt-less adult by 30.
Let’s all applaud my ignorance together.
I am less than a year from thirty and so far off course from where I intended. In fact, if it weren’t so defeating it would probably make me laugh out loud. Nearly 3 years ago I wrote a blog post called 3 Years ’til 30. Nearly 3 years later, I have accomplished nothing that I set out to. I’ve not written a book. I’ve yet to visit Belize. And Dave Ramsey & I still have some serious things to tackle together.
Instead of accomplishing my goals, I’ve changed my career (again), moved into a new apartment (again!), gotten married (thankfully for the first time!!) and questioned many of my life choices.
My identity, though formed, feels vague. I was always “The Writer,” or “The Reader,” or “The One With Potential.” I thought for sure that by 30 I would be Someone; off Somewhere doing Something big and exciting and important.
Instead, I’m living a life of quiet obscurity in a town where no one knows who I was before my husband. Which isn’t a bad thing. But it’s not quite what I had imagined for myself.
Before you get the wrong idea, let me say that I don’t mean to paint the picture of a bleak and unfulfilled life. By no means is my situation even slightly unfavorable. I am young and healthy. I live in a beautiful apartment with the man of my dreams. My husband dotes on me. My friendships are thriving. I want for nothing, truly. I am blessed and I am thankful.
I’m just saying I had a plan. But sometimes plans change and I am learning to deal with that.
Maybe it’s my impending 30’s talking, but it feels as if the days are slipping by quickly. I don’t feel like the young girl I once was. I am realizing that life is found in the moments between when you are young and when you are not.
I don’t want to waste those moments.
A friend of mine has decided for herself that 2019 will be her year to “unplug.” As much as I like to be abreast of things, I’ll admit that a social media cleanse sounds appealing. I’d like to focus more on writing. And reading. And fulfilling potential. But mostly writing.