Have you ever met a girl with wings? I believe that I’ve always had wings. (Metaphorically speaking, of course!) As a child, I grew alongside parents that were somewhat less than stable. We moved often, and in a hurry, which translated in my adult life as a deep longing for stability with a tendency to get bored.
Trees plant. Good roots sink deep into soft soil, digging in to establish themselves firmly. Trees settle.
But the things of the air?
They come and go on gusts and breezes. Things with wings move according to whims; flitting from place to place. Winged creatures are at ease everywhere, yet, never seem satisfied to stay still.
While we’re on the topic of never staying still… I must confess that I am moving again. Yes, again. To Maryland, of all places.
At least, that’s the plan.
Was it only 7 months ago that I was in the islands, packing my bags for a “brief” internship across the pacific ocean? What started with a phone call, ended with me leaving my hometown for an unpaid position at an unknown church.
Hawaii to Washington was an easy enough transition. While this particular move has become quite iconic in the narrative of my life, I still find myself bidding adieu to the newly familiar once more. I also find myself in tension. Caught between needing a solid foundation and a deep desire for freedom.
When you’re always on the move, everything remains bright and full of potential. There is ceaseless opportunity to remodel and remake yourself. Every new place is a blank page on which countless characters might be created. The trick is to stay a rolling stone, taking your leave just before the jest is found out. The mystery keeps you interesting.
But staying? Staying makes you known. In replacement of experience and freedom, settling down offers you security and identity. Settling down means settling in, and settling in gives you a stronger sense of belonging and community. A chance at permanence. There’s a sort of freedom in that too, I think.
While wandering is what I’ve always known, these days, I feel myself wearying of these revolving doors. (I’m having flashbacks of Chocolat. Anyone?)
Anyway, this Spring marks the newest of my “new beginnings.” Maybe my last in a while. A chance to try my hand at developing roots, perhaps?
Can one have both roots and wings?
Time will reveal, won’t it, reader?
P.S. In case you really couldn’t tell, this is my fancy way of telling you all that I’m moving to Maryland!